her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you never un-have a 4some
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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