It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
