well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
