before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize