I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
