my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize