you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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