You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
