Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm bleeding and have questions
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
