can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
