We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
