i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
