make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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