Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think I am morally bankrupt
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
