His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Your shirt... Was in my pants
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
