I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You may now shotgun with the bride
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
