is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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