I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
