please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize