Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize