just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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