i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
