So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
