in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
