bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
