in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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