He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
