Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
