the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
