You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
