Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
