Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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