I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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