just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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