My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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