lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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