Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
