end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
