Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
