fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
