I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize