She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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