C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
