i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
