dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
