if i can run in heels then i can drive
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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