She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
