Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
