My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just cropdusted the office
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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