im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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