We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize