If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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