we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you had me at cake vodka
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
