Having a random hookup so left but love u
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
