is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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