I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
