you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
