i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's blow job season.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
