Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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