So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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