How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
