I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
