And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
