Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
