i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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