And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
