haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
