can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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