Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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