So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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