It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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