i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
