do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize