I accidentally had phone sex last night
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
