So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
