i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Say something about gay babies.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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