i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
