I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
