I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize